A Sick Thought
by steshin
Summary: Lacus has been acting strange... [crack oneshot][implied AC,KL,and something else]


_A Sick Thought_

_by steshin_

* * *

_Thursday, 3.00 pm, nearby cafe_

"Cagalli, what's your cup size?"

At that, Cagalli choked and almost spewed out the coffee she was drinking. A few people in the café gave her a curious glance then withdrew their eyes away. Cagalli placed down her cup and shot her pink-haired companion an incredulous look.

"Excuse me?"

Lacus smiled innocently as she repeated her question. "What's your cup size?"

"Why would you want to know?"

"I'm just curious."

Cagalli noticed her gaping, and immediately closed her mouth. "Cup…size?" _I hope she means dishware…._

"Yes, your bra size." Lacus nodded with a giggle.

Cagalli felt the heat on her face but shrugged off. She took a sip. "I'd rather not say."_

* * *

__Friday, 11.00 am, Orphanage_

The orphans just finished their brunch and went outside to swim in the sea with Kira and Athrun supervising. Lacus and Cagalli were alone cleaning up the table. Lacus was cleaning off the crumbs on the table and placing them in an empty plastic bag. Cagalli was collecting the dirty plates.

"Say…Cagalli?"

Cagalli looked at her. "Yeah, Lacus?"

"Does Athrun satisfy you?"

Cagalli almost dropped the plates. She stared at Lacus with the utmost shock.

"What do you mean by that!" She was half shouting with that.

Lacus shrugged and licked her dry lips. "…In bed, I mean."

Cagalli was shaking on her knees, the plates making noise as her arms quivered her face carbuncle red. Lacus noted this. "Not that I'm interested in Athrun. But I'm just curious."

"…Lacus, that's a bit personal…in fact that's too personal!"

Lacus sighed and eyed Cagalli like she was a child. "We're mature women, Cagalli. It's normal to talk about these things."

"But I'm not comfortable!" Cagalli declared, dropping the dishes in the sink with a clank.

"Oh, Cagalli. Come on."

At this point, Cagalli started eyeing Lacus as if she had grown three heads. Lacus wasn't acting like her sweet, serene, not-meddling self! What was wrong with her?

* * *

_Friday, 11.36 am, Orphanage_

"Cagalli, will you tell me?"

"About what?" As if she didn't know.

"You and Athrun…in bed."

They were seated on the divan and Cagalli was glad she wasn't standing or she would probably collapse at Lacus's strange current personality. She looked at Lacus, who had a prodding look matched with a pair of begging puppy eyes. She might as well tell her to be spared of the nagging.

"…Fine."

Lacus bounced in her seat like a schoolgirl and scooted near to the blonde. After taking a deep breath, Cagalli began. "Well...umm…Athrun is good, no complaints there, however…"

"However what?"

Cagalli scratched her head and imagined how red her face must be from embarrassment in having to admit the things she and Athrun do…intimately.

"Athrun doesn't really seem to, you know, linger." Lacus blinked twice and placed a finger on her chin.

"Linger?"

"Yeah…umm…he doesn't seem to take time in the moment; he always wants to go for the main part. You get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I do. You're saying Athrun is fast."

"What? No! Athrun isn't fast otherwise he'd be bad in bed. What I meant was that Athrun doesn't take the time and pleasure of what we're doing. He immediately always wants to connect."

"Sounds the same to me." Lacus said in her normal tone of voice as she fixed the wrinkles in her skirt. Cagalli sighed as she slapped her own forehead.

What was the point in all of this?

"Tell me about what you guys do _intimately_."

Cagalli twitched as Lacus rambled on like Mr. Pink, which was currently rolling on the floor. "Does he nibble your ear? Whisper naughty things in them or does he play with your"—

"Lacus, that's enough!" Cagalli fumed, feeling a vein pop. "Let's stop!"

"No, we can't! Come on, Cagalli, give me details! Or better yet tell me about your fantasies!"

"The hell!" Cagalli looked around frantically making sure no soul was prying around.

Lacus softly giggled. "Cagalli we're alone. No one will hear."

"Lacus, what's wrong with you?" Cagalli asked with lividness in her tone.

"I'm just curious…since Kira and I never…you know." She looked at the blonde sadly.

Looking at the sad face there, Cagalli forced herself to go with what Lacus wanted.

"…Fine, I'll tell you but you better not"—

"I won't tell a soul, promise!" Lacus swore._

* * *

__Saturday, 1.04 pm, Kira and Cagalli's residence_

Cagalli was drying herself up in the bathroom after her nice warm shower. She was wearing orange knickers as she finished off drying her upper body; she then draped the fluffy green towel over her neck, so each end of the towel covered her breasts.

She took the bottle of water she left in the sink, unscrewed the cap and drank from it as she opened the door that separated the bathroom and her bedroom.

She was late in reacting as a camera flashed.

After everything registered in her mind…

"Lacus, what the hell is wrong with you!"

* * *

_Saturday, 3.00 pm, Kira and Cagalli's residence_

"I'm telling you, Kira! Lacus is acting like a complete lesbo!"

"Cagalli, you're exaggerating, Lacus isn't like that." Kira spoke with disbelief.

"Exaggerating! Do you know what's been happening? Lacus has been prying in my sex life with Athrun stole a picture of me almost naked and last Thursday in the mall, we were buying underwear Lacus groped me when she helped me try a bra on. Did you hear me? She groped me!"

Kira frowned with distaste. "Cagalli that's not nice. Lacus isn't a lesbian. Even you know that." _Wait, Cagalli and Athrun have been screwing? The hell! Athrun said he hasn't touched her!_

"Not by what's been happening!"

"Cagalli."—

"Do me a favor, Kira! Screw Lacus, so she'll refrain from molesting me!"

"W-what!" Kira's face turned beet red. "Sexual intercourses are reserved for marriage and"—

"You already screwed Fllay! What's wrong with doing Lacus!"

"I am not screwing Lacus, you hear me! I don't have it in me to taint her…" To Kira, Lacus was too pure and innocent…something Fllay wasn't.

"OH MY GOD!" The blond screamed with aggravation._

* * *

__Saturday, 6.12 pm, Park_

Lacus Clyne skipped happily to a park bench where a blue-haired man was seated; her blue sundress flowed with her movements. Mr. Pink was bouncing closely behind her.

"Hey, Athrun."

Athrun stood up and removed his sunglasses. "Hi, Lacus. So?"

Lacus knew what he meant and took out a manila envelope tucked under her arm.

"Here it is." She handed it to him. "It has everything you wanted to know."

Athrun opened the envelope took out some papers and read a page of it. Lacus saw his Athrun raised an eyebrow with a small smile tugging his lips.

"I have to admit, Cagalli has a great imagination. Fantasizing me as a pirate? Or a fireman?" He took out a glossy picture of the half naked Cagalli fresh from the shower. His eyes widened with a grin.

"Lacus, thank you very much!"

Lacus cleared her throat on purpose. That doesn't come cheap, you know."

Athrun knew what she meant. From his jacket's pocket, he took out a few snapshots he took on his own. It was shots of Kira at the beach that had great focus on his torso and butt. There was even one picture with Kira taking a siesta on a mat wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. Kira had been completely oblivious at all of it.

At the sight of this, Lacus nearly drooled on it. "Oh Athrun, this is so wonderful!"

"It was a pleasure doing business with you Miss Clyne." Athrun offered his hand to a businesslike handshake. Lacus took his hand and they shook hands.

"Likewise, Mr. Zala." Her happy face then turned to a worried one. "…Though I feel a little bad about exploiting them."

"Are you saying we should stop?" Athrun asked, forcing himself to tear away his vision from his picture of his half-naked blonde.

Lacus blinked and then grinned mischievously. "I said only a little. I fancy having more pictures of Kira like this." _And I do enjoy groping his sister._

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed.

A/n: I had this oneshot for a long time already but I wasn't that persuaded to put it out till now. This is merely crack and should not be taken seriously and yes…I am aware of the OOCness of Lacus and Athrun otherwise I wouldn't be freaked out by Lacus in this fic.

And…this fic was inspired from a fan art picture, which will be posted to my LJ. However, the entry with the picture will be friend locked, meaning if you don't have an LJ, or if you're not my friend, you won't be able to see it. Well, ciao!


End file.
